Archive | February, 2009

Quick Hits

18 Feb

Whine: Six, count them, six basketfuls of clean laundry balance precariously on my love seat waiting to be folded.

Cheese: At least I have clean underwear now.

 

So, it comes down this choice, dear readers. Either I can post now, a rambling heap of the last week or so, or I can wait until I have time to to package it neatly and place a nice bow on top. We both know that time is not coming any time soon, don’t we? So, I’ve decided a few quick hits are in order.

 

In the last week I’ve . . .

 

. . . taken my kids to a doctor’s appointment at 8 o’clock at night. Both had ear infections.

 

. . . cleaned out my fridge and discovered that I could’ve treated the girls’ ear infections with what I found in there.

 

. . . woken up to find Big Sis watching Diego and eating a stick of butter-flavored Crisco like a candy bar. (Where was her father??)

 

. . . fished a pacifier out of a toilet, courtesy of Lil’ Sis and her newest hobby: Bobbing for Paci.

 

. . . came to pick up Big Sis from Sunday School. Found her sans shirt and huddled in her blankie. Apparently the toilet (that she was not using, of course) “overflowed.” Except that her shirt was completely wet, front and back, top to bottom. I was like, um, did she swim in it or what? I guess it didn’t technically overflow, it’s more like it sprung a major leak and sprayed everywhere. Except she was the only one who got wet at all.  I suspect the Toilet Trolls have a bounty out on her.

 

. . . witnessed Big Sis make some impressive potty-ing strides (complete with lunatic-Mommy-dancing-celebration and candy bribes) only to have her decide that was enough success and start holding everything in again. But she doesn’t eat much when she gets like this, so at least I’ll save some $$ on groceries. (Settle down, I’m just kidding. I’m not that callous. Yet. She is still my firstborn.)

 

. . . noticed that toilets are a major theme in my life. I’m not sure what to make of that, but it can’t be good.

 

But enough about me and my toilet fixation. I want to hear what you guys have been doing. So, I’m asking you to go to the comments section and finish this sentence with the craziest (publicly admittable and semi-true) thing you can.

“In the last week I’ve . . .”  

A Double Shot of UnWord Fun

5 Feb

Whine: I’m totally smungover from being up past 1 am the last few nights. And when I tried to nap today, I found myself battling wicked sminsomnia, as my brain twittered around planning this post. [To translate this statement, see below.]

Cheese: After owning my current cell phone  (which I bought for its mp3 capability) for almost two years, I have finally downloaded some music onto it.

 

smangover [smang-oh-ver] -noun

smungover [smung-oh-ver] –adjective

The lingering effects of physical exhaustion, including crabbiness, headache and bloodshot eyes, resulting from overuse of social media such as text messaging, facebook, or blogging. Usually effects those over twenty-five years of age, as those younger usually have more stamina and fewer jobs.

“I’ve got a killer smangover,” she groaned, “I was up all night cyber-stalking my fifth grade teacher.”

 

And just because I love you guys (and who knows when I’ll post again), here’s a bonus UnWord for today.

sminsomnia [in-som-nee-uh] -noun

sminsomniac [in-som-nee-ack] -noun

An inability to fall asleep or stay asleep as a result of obsessive thoughts about and overuse of social media.  Often causes a nasty smangover.