Keep it Together, Momma (aka A Birthday Post)

15 Sep
Whine: Just trying to keep it together. Man, who knew birthdays could make you this happy/sad?

Cheese: Apple. Fritter.

Just one quick question: Does Aerosmith make you cry? Huh, maybe it’s just me.

So we’re sitting in the Walmart parking lot the other day and “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” comes on the radio. You know the one from Armageddon, with the tearful/cheesy scene with Liv Tyler and Bruce Willis on the tv screen? Anyway, I decide to sit in the car until the song is over because actually Aerosmith is my favorite band in the world (I know this makes you seriously question my taste) and I for some inexplicable reason have a crush on Steven Tyler (which should make you question my taste even more, really).

So Steven is scream-singing away, my kiddos are sitting like little car-seat prisoners in the back waiting for Mommy to release them, and the next thing I know, I’m cry-singing.

I don’t want to close my eyyyyeeeees, I don’t want to faaaaaaalllllll asleeeeep, cause I’d miss you, baby, and I don’t want to miss a thiiiiing. 

I don’t know what happened, but every time the song came back to the chorus, I thought of my two sweet baby girls sitting back there and how they keep growing and changing and moving toward independence. And I love ’em so much, I really, really don’t want to miss anything. Until they drive me bonkers, then I ship ’em off to Grandma’s.

I’m sure all my doctor-friend readers out there are writing out prescriptions for Lexapro right about now, but I’m fine, I swear. It’s just that every once and a while I have these moments where I can see above all the daily details of mommyhood and into the people they are becoming, and it just kind of, well, makes me cry.

So you can imagine how well I’m doing today. The day my oldest baby girl turns four. Four years ago yesterday, I was in so much misery waiting for this gigantic (8 lbs. 11oz.) overdue baby to come out that I was seriously considering a do-it-yourself C-section. And four years ago today, I was the happiest woman in the world. I was so happy that I couldn’t even call my friends and family to tell them the news. I’d start to say it, then as soon as I had to say her name, I got all tangled up in my tearful happiness and had to pass the phone on to Mr. Dad.

Her name is Sophia Joy.

And she has been that from the very beginning. Joyful and bright. Enthusiastic and warm. And not only is she a picture of joy (most of the time) she has been a joy. And not just to her adoring and admittedly-biased parents. She has brought joy to so many others from the time she was just a little thing. Her kindness and generosity, her willingness to consider other people’s needs. Her contagious giggle. Even as a baby she seemed to know that sometimes people just needed to cuddle her and make silly faces at her; she never fussed at being passed from one  person to the next (and I didn’t fuss a whole lot about getting a break.) To this day, she is uniquely considerate and gentle (unless Lil’ Sis is involved, of course) and loves to celebrate with anyone–planning parties, giving (and receiving) presents, singing the happy birthday song.

I told her today while we were out on a special birthday date that every day of her life she has been loved. Every day. She just kept licking her ice cream cone and started talking about bees or something, but I hope she does know that. And I’m not sure what Sophie will be when she grows up. I don’t care if she’s an event planner or a geographer or a refrigerator mechanic or a cheerleader.  What I do hope for her is that she will always know how loved she is. But not just so that she can save it up inside of her heart for a rainy day (although I hope she does) but so that she can be someone who really loves other people. Not everyone gets to hear how loved they are all the time, so I’m hoping to give Sophie enough to share. And if the first four years are any indication, I think we’re on the right track.


Sophie, 6 months

Sophie, 6 months old


First Day of School 2009


(I’m very sorry about the formatting of this post. Apparently WordPress is feeling quite temperamental today, so you’ll have to excuse it, perhaps it’s been crying listening to Aerosmith, too. )

9 Responses to “Keep it Together, Momma (aka A Birthday Post)”

  1. Johanna I. September 15, 2009 at 6:02 pm #

    Beautiful, Sars. And that applies to your post and your little girl. Crap! That’s what she is – not a baby anymore. Good thing you have another one. And another on the way after that. I’m so glad I got to chat with her the other day, even though I only understood about half of it. I just enjoyed listening to her sweet voice and reveling in the fact that she would actually stay on the phone with me for 3 minutes straight.

  2. Alyssa September 15, 2009 at 8:38 pm #

    Such sweet writing, Sarah. Can’t believe you could write this without short-circuiting your computer. She will treasure reading this when she’s older.

  3. Mom September 15, 2009 at 9:13 pm #

    Sophie is my joy, she is my special blessing. You, momma, have done such a wonderful job with both girls, I am very proud of you! Keep it up. Love, Mom

  4. Trish September 15, 2009 at 9:53 pm #

    I think about what a wonderful time in Abe and my life our kids are now, and it makes me a little sad that they are too young to remember how great it is. I often cry those happy/sad tears when I think about what a tiny window of time their childhood is and how fast they will be grown, but it’s usually when I’m puttig them to bed, and thanking God for them…not whilst listening to Aerosmith. 🙂

  5. LJ September 15, 2009 at 10:22 pm #

    You are so sweet to share your “joy” with us. It is important for her to know you love her, it will mean more than you know. If you run out of Aerosmith songs to cry over I can send you some Bon Jovi!

  6. Wendy September 16, 2009 at 7:24 am #

    Ah, I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes I look at my son and I think “who is this long legged little boy and where did my baby go?” and I realize that time is hurtling along and he’ll be grown before I know it. Sniff.

    Also, I totally cried during Armageddon, which is sometime my husband will tease me about forever.

  7. wee September 16, 2009 at 10:32 am #

    Happy Birthday Sophie!!!!!!!!! We Love You Every Day Too!!!!!!!!!!
    lots & lots of kisses & hugs,
    Mariya & Siara & Keegan & Aunt Lisa & Uncle Mark

  8. rachelle October 5, 2009 at 6:32 pm #

    yay- happy happy b-day soph!
    i just found this post today. i wish i could get email alerts or something.


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