Man of the House: Guest Post by Brother Bear

25 Oct

Whine: I don’t mean to brag, but I’m actually pretty good at this “whine” thing. I whine for milk, I whine for clean diapers, I whine when Mommy takes her undivided attention off me to check on whatever she’s burning cooking.  Mommy says I sound like this when I whine, so she calls me Wookiee. Isn’t she mean?

Cheese: She pretty much gives me whatever I want.  So I don’t really care what she calls me, as long as she keeps the food and snuggles coming.

Mommy is pretty busy these days. What with Big Sis constantly trying to remodel the house and Lil’ Sis working on her sly ninja skills, she barely has time to brush her teeth, let alone string together coherent sentences for the entertainment of the people. So I figured I’d step in today and give the lady a break. Mostly to make up for the fact that I may or may not have boycotted naptime last week and I’m afraid she might decide to let me ‘cry it out’ if I don’t pitch in.

I’ve been keeping busy since I last wrote. I’m still pretty much bald. I can’t sit up or scoot, but I look real cute rolling to hither and yon. I love to grab the diapers Mommy takes off me and try to stick them in my mouth. I’m really good at working hard in my baby office–I get a lot of important stuff done. Need me to push that light- up thingy? No problem. How about grabbing that other doo-dad? I’ll get it done by 5. I’m the picture of baby efficiency.

I’ve grown two teeth and I’m not afraid to use them. On baby food? No, that stuff is nasty. I like to bite stuff. And Mommy. Speaking of baby food, though, who eats that stuff?? Seriously. I admit, I was curious the first few times they gave me the cereal. But upon further review, zpfttttffffffffffffff [insert raspberry noise and violent spewage]. No way, Jose.

The world still seems to pretty much revolve around me, that much hasn’t changed since last time I wrote.  Mommy and I are pretty inseperable–I even get to go to work with her. I help her ‘type’ and ‘file’ and ‘take calls’. She’s pretty lucky to have me around. My sisters still operate by the 6 millimeter rule, which is that if I am around, at least one of them is within six millimeters of my face. But now that I am getting all grown up, I get to do more stuff with them than my last update.

My dad is pretty cool. I like to ride around in his (very manly) baby carrier and do man stuff. Like cook hotdogs on the grill. And clean the garage. He and I watch LOTS of sports together, but he gets a little scary and loud when the blue guys with the stars on their hats actually catch the ball. Then I get a little loud, too, but not in the same way. Ok, I admit it, I cry like a baby. But hey, I am a baby.

I really like Big Sis. She always gives me her blankie and her teddy bear, which is especially good for chewing with my awesome little teeth and is almost as awesomely gross as chewing a diaper because who knows where that blankie has been. Big Sis likes to drag me by my onesie onto her lap. Then she gets in trouble and has to go to timeout. But that doesn’t stop her from doing it the next time Mommy’s back is turned. Although today at the post office she stuck a postage label on me and told the clerk I was a package that needed mailing, so perhaps there’s some latent hostility in there.

I’m not quite sure about Lil’ Sis. She really seems to like me, although I think she’s trying to toughen me up. Seeing as how she gave me my first bloody nose. Mommy was reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaallllllllyyyyyyyy mad. But I think mostly because she got blood on her shirt.

Now I have street cred for the nursery.

But Lil’ Sis also gave me my first bite of cake, so I think that pretty much makes it even. And surprisingly, Mommy was reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaallllllllyyyyyyyy mad about that, too. But probably just because I didn’t spit the cake in Lil’ Sis’ face like I do strained peas.

And then there’s Mommy. I grin like nobody’s business when I see her. I just can’t help it. She’s my favorite. My favorite person to bite, to spit my sweet potatoes on, to wipe my snotty nose on. My favorite person to make kissy mouth at (or maybe it’s hungry mouth, I get confused), to try to escape from when it’s time to change clothes and to say “da!” to when we’re up at 5 am . She calls me “Aaron Earl(y) Bird”.

My Favorite Mommy

Also, this weekend was my Mommy’s  BLOGIVERSARY. So she decided to dust off her blog after a month of non-writing to celebrate two years of sharing the wealth of insanity with all of you.

As her BLOGIVERSAY gift to you, she wants me to hit some of the highlights of the last two years and to thank you for making the memories with us through your reading and your comments.

Remember that time Big Sis was potty training? Or the time Lil’ Sis locked us out? Or the time that Mommy got a root canal the week before I was born? Also, here is last year’s BLOGIVERSARY post. And one about procrastination (since it’s Monday and all) and ear infections (since it is sicky sick season).

I hope you enjoy strolling down Memory Lane, even if it is strewn with dirty laundry and amoxicillin. Here’s to another year of ‘good times’.

PS Mommy says to come back later this week for what she says is incontrovertible (isn’t that a kind of car?) evidence that my sisters are the most destructive little girls on the planet. And she says she’s got pictures to prove it.

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9 Responses to “Man of the House: Guest Post by Brother Bear”

  1. Debbie October 25, 2010 at 11:38 am #

    Love it! 🙂 Thank-you so much for this blog site! It has brought me MANY smiles and much joy to my heart! Love you Sarah! 🙂

  2. rachelle October 25, 2010 at 12:19 pm #

    happy blogiversary!

  3. Kelsey October 25, 2010 at 1:47 pm #

    That Aaron, he’s very articulate for a young-un. Lila started biting me recently, too! Whenever I try to scold her she grins and says, “Ha!” What’s a (sore) mommy to do? I’m considering filing down those little razors with my nail file. Any better ideas?

  4. rayshelle October 25, 2010 at 7:04 pm #

    so glad you got it in writing that you are aaron’s favorite! you should probably save this and read it at his rehearsal dinner. thanks for a good laugh – really several good laughs. 🙂

  5. Amber October 25, 2010 at 9:38 pm #

    Oh brother bear! I wanted to rush right over and give you kissy faces myself. I can’t believe little sis did that to you. You and your mommy are the best writers around.

  6. Sars October 25, 2010 at 9:41 pm #

    Thanks, Debbie and Rachelle, having you guys’ faithful support is what keeps me coming back–even if it’s been a month.

    Oh, Kelsey, I have my ways. But not everyone thinks a little thump on a baby cheek is on the up and up, so I’d better not say. But for less awful-sounding ideas, try kellymom.com and search “biting”.

    And Rayshelle, we will just add that story to the one about he and Rowan’s kiss. We’re gonna get some mileage out of that.

  7. wee October 26, 2010 at 8:56 am #

    I am convinced (lost in suspension of disbelief as I read) that Brother Bear did author and write the ‘Mommy’s my favorite’ part – it sounded just like him !
    P.S. Isn’t it amazing/weird how boys in general are naturally into all things ‘gross’?!

  8. wee November 3, 2010 at 9:39 am #

    love you Brother Bear! you and Big Sis and Lil Sis all give kisses & hugs to each other from us one of those times you’re 6mm from each other!

  9. Damion Salesses May 25, 2011 at 11:40 am #

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