Upgrade

23 Feb

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Whine: I got up before 4am today and I still managed to run late. That takes talent.

Cheese: The ticket agent had mercy on me and put my bags on the plane. I guess looking perpetually pathetic and frazzled has its upside.

Do I sound smarter to you to today? More organized?? More tech savvy??? I should because I am two-thumb typing this from the ‘comfort’ of my plastic airport chair in the lobby of Chicago’s O’Hare. On my cellular telephone. I know, right?? The thought makes me a little giddy. (Or maybe it’s the four hours of sleep I got last night.)

That’s right, I’m the proud new owner of a smartphone. And boy howdy, I didn’t realize how much I needed to be able to check Facebook from the ladies restroom until now.

My cousin Mikey (who in my mind is still 15, but is actually a real grown up now, so I guess I should probably call him Mike or Michael at this point) got me a sweet hookup with my Samsung Intercept and it has been L-O-V-E ever since.

I have discovered that with my new phone by my side I now actually have the superpowers I’ve been acting like I had all along. For eample, when we are late for a party and also lost even though I actually doublechecked the address and google mapped it for once, I just turn on my phone’s handy dandy gps (instead of listening to Mr. Dad, the human gps) and we end up only being Pretty Late instead of Disastrously Late. (And for the record, Mr. Dad was right.)

Also, my phone has an e-reader with free books on it. So now when I reach the shut-out-the-outside-world stage of a book (about 3/4 of the way in, 2/3 if it’s a good one) where I shun all nourishment, productivity, and human contact, I can now read on-the-go. Like at stop lights and the McDonald’s drive thru window. And Mr. Dad, in an attempt to get me to functionality, can’t hide the book from me.

But Mr. Dad is no better. He runs the battery down slinging tiny animated birds from a slingshot. I think he’ll quit once he beats all 1,342 levels.

My phone helps me keep tabs on my Dad, whose cranky arteries need a re-route (hence today’s travel). No, my phone can’t do the surgery, but I’m pretty sure by 2012 they’ll have an app for that.

The only bad thing about my phone is that I still don’t know how to complete an actual phone call. I end up accidentally checking my email with my cheek while talking to my mother. It took me a week to figure out how to dial someone without scrolling through all 294 contacts. And instead of having the Call Waiting feature, my phone has the Hold On While I Hang Up On You feature. I’m not too frustrated though, I figure it’s a fair way to balance out my newfound Superpowers.

I’d better run, I’m finding myself quite hilarious this morning, which is a sure sign that my Diet Coke is wearing off. Besides, I have a new book (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies) I’ll keep you posted on everything as I can. . . I’m sure you’ll be anxious to hear that Mr. Dad has finally bested Angry Birds.

UPDATE: I thought I posted this yesterday morning. But then you all were very quiet in the comments (which is so VERY unlike you), I got curious and figured out noone could actually see the post. Too bad my fancy new phone is not idiot-proof, because I would so buy that app.

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7 Responses to “Upgrade”

  1. rachelle February 24, 2011 at 10:22 am #

    no more DC for you. you ARE funny!

  2. wee February 24, 2011 at 1:36 pm #

    1. I have always known you have Superpowers! Glad you have the gadget to go with!

  3. wee February 24, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    2a. In light of #1 and the knockout photo in this post, you may not do any more posts without photos of my beautiful nieces or handsome nephew.

  4. wee February 24, 2011 at 1:39 pm #

    2b. Make sure to disable your photo gps tracking locator tag before taking photos (google nbc smartphone picture risks).

  5. Karen February 24, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

    Whine: Aaron is growing up wayyyy too fast!
    I don’t think I’ll get a bypass just to get you to fly out here though….
    How’s your dad?
    And diet coke or not, you make me laugh every time!

  6. karenpaynetableforone February 26, 2011 at 7:47 am #

    Uncle Paul here. Angry birds you say? I thought I was playing angry turds. I need a larger screen…

  7. wee February 26, 2011 at 1:08 pm #

    was sure I posted a #3 that day (because ending with 2b. would’ve been weird) but whatever i did it didn’t make it.
    3. I love this post! We’re praying for your dad. I miss you!

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