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Drum Roll, Please

15 Dec

Whine: I’ve had several inquiries as to the true identity of Sophie’s boot intruder. Inquiries phrased in such a way as to imply a lack of timeliness on my part. And so I offer my apologies for making you wait, but you know at Christmas that Mommies turn into crazy-eyed elves. We can’t help it–the banana bread is not going to bake itself.

Cheese: I didn’t realize that you all cared quite so much. Sniff.

In case you missed it, last week I posted a contest to determine the obstacle that was hidden in the toe of Sophie’s boot. I wanted to share the answers I got because they made me giggle.

1) Baby Jesus, to keep him warm. (Posted by Rachelle) Because what better place for the Savior of the World to stay warm than in the bottom of a stinky, dark boot? Probably beats the manger, though. And it is right along Big Sis’ line of thinking.

2)Red Tens. (Posted by Laura via Facebook) One year on our annual Labor Day Weekend to Kansas and back trek, Sophie “borrowed” all of the red 10 game pieces from Cousin Laura’s Rummikub game. Because for her, every episode of Sesame Street should be brought to you by the Color Red and the Number Ten.

3) Mindinator. (Posted by Aunt Lisa) The Mindinator is one of Sophie’s inventions. Basically it is a basket on her head that has some sort of undefined scientific powers. I’d be careful around that thing.

4) Hardened Halloween candy, stashed away in a moment of lucidity after a mad trick-or-treating frolic. (Posted by Jeanne) Hey, we’ve run out of candy, perhaps I’ll check all the shoes next time I need a candy fix.

5) A chicken nugget, hard enough to play baseball with. (Posted by Debbie)  I don’t know what kind of house you live in, but that kind of thing does NOT happen around here. Ewwwww.

6) Little Brother. (Posted by Uncle Paul and Karen) DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY IDEAS!!!

7) A tampon. (Posted by Mandy) Well, I guess you never know when you might need one. . .

8) This is not an actual entry, but I thought it deemed repeating:  (Posted on Facebook by Karla) My district blocked your blog. Says something about bodyart. Excuse me, it says ADULT BODYART. Oh dear. I realize we do frequently discuss the fact that my children hate wearing clothes, I did not think we were quite THAT scandalous.

In my estimation, you are ALL winners. So gold stars all around. But I can’t buy Starbucks for everyone, so I’ll let Big Sis tell you herself. (Note: She dressed herself today, including the beret and western vest. What? She’s a French poet cowgirl.)

It WAS a hotdog and it WAS nasty. It was about an inch of petrified meat product. I have no explanation for it’s presence in her footwear, but suffice it to say based on my kids and their “creative abilities” I was not all that surprised.

I am going to declare Debbie the winner of our first Whine and Cheese contest!! With an honorable mention to Jeanne, seeing as how she was pretty darn close, just not quite disgusting enough. Thanks for playing, y’all.

Must Be Present To Win

9 Dec

This is not an official post.

THIS is a contest.

WITH a semi-real (mostly fake) prize.

This morning I was rushing everyone around trying to get us all out the door and into the car and to the preschool before we missed most of the day and all I had left to do was supervise Big Sis as she put on her shoes. Actually cowgirl boots. Very cute.

Anyway, as she shoved her foot into the second boot, she howled, having stubbed her toe on an unidentified object. We pulled her foot out, tipped the boot over and out fell __________________________.

I laughed hilariously, then insisted she pretend to be Woody from Toy Story, who when you pull his string says “There’s a snake in my boot.”

So, the question is what do you think Sophie said when I pulled her [imaginary] string? What was in her boot??


Enter your guess(es) in the comments below. Those of you who’ve already heard the story, be sure to keep your guesses to the ridiculous (and not accurate) so as to not spoil the contest for everyone else.

The winner(s) of this contest will get (drum roll, please) to choose the topic for an upcoming post and a gold star!! Who wouldn’t want that?? Fine. If you guys do a really good job I’ll throw in a Starbucks gift card. But only if you do a really good job.

If no one guesses correctly, then the the winner will be whoever’s guess makes me laugh so hard I almost wet my pants, so go big or go home, people.

Guesses must be entered by noon Monday (12/13) when I reveal the answer.

If there are two things I know about my readers it is that you are both 1)faithful readers and 2)funny folks, so don’t be wallflowers, lurking around thinking funny things. Share your best and/or funniest guess with the rest of us. Because I said so.