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Have You Ever?

9 Jan

Whine: I must confess, I’ve been avoiding my little blog. I have so many things whirlilng around in my mind, Funny! Amusing! Alarming! things. And I guess I decided that if I couldn’t write them all, I wouldn’t write anything. Not to mention that our house has been  Grand Central Station for every virus in the world for the last few weeks, so I’ve been up to my ears in well, you don’t want to know. But I’m here now, and I must say that I’ve missed you all.

Cheese: Just sitting on the couch, listening to the tumble tumble of the dryer, watching basketball and savoring my Christmas candy (Hot Tamales) and Diet Coke.


Today we’re going to play a little game I like to call “Have You Ever?” mainly because I’m trying to give you a snapshot of what you’ve been missing, but also because I’m hoping someone else out there has done at least one of these things so that I don’t feel like such a weirdo.


Have you ever. . .

. . . had to sort your shoes into two piles: barfed-on and not-barfed-on? Why did she run into my closet and then vomit??


. . . put yourself in the “line of fire” so to speak, so that your baby didn’t vomit all over your carpet? What?!? I had just gotten it cleaned.


. . . tucked your child in bed wearing the clothes they’ve been wearing all day, then gotten them up the next day and left them in the same clothes? Yeah, I’m that kind of mom. The lazy efficient kind.


. . . discovered that since you’re going to have to discipline your little one, you’d better stop cracking up first?  Sometimes even their naughtiest moments are adorable. Especially if they happen to be clad in their red footie pajamas at the time of the offense. Everything is cuter in red footie pajamas. Except cockroaches. Even footie pajamas can’t make a cockroach cute.


. . . eaten just one Hot Tamale? Me neither.