Tag Archives: swine flu

Episodes in Freaking Out: Swine Flu Edition

30 Apr

Whine: Stupid, freaky, weird swine flu. Why’d you have to come to Fort Worth?

Cheese: Big Sis is really into ‘exercising’ these days. This consists of putting her hands and feet on the ground and sticking her bottom as far in the air as she can. Let me just tell you, this is hilarious. Is that what I look like when I exercise? Nevermind. Do not answer that.

 

Swine flu. Until yesterday, my thoughts on the dreaded virus amounted to nothing more than a puncline. Then Fort Worth cancelled school-for at least ten days-and my freakout began. When I found out, my kids were with Grandma (aka Grandma Cookie) for the evening. At that moment, all I wanted were my kids with me so I could hold them, make sure they were ok, and then possibly disinfect them from head to toe, maybe not in that order.

I have since regained the capability of rational thought (due in part to seeing that both my babies are very healthy), but the “outbreak” got me thinking about all the random and weird things I fear. And since you all serve as my personal confessors, I will share a few with you today:

 

1) I am afraid that one day I will run over my mailman. Or anyone else. But especially my mailman, as he has a walking route and could very easily slip right behind my car, escaping my notice, which is easy to do when your backseat is filled with children who think they are birds. Very loud birds.

 

2) I am afraid of missing out on anything. Some of my friends make fun of me because anytime we are discussing television or movies, I know about every show that comes up (and possibly every one that has ever existed from 1986 to now.) I tend to keep up with pop culture and gossip for that very reason. I am also usually the last one to leave an event and the last one to go to sleep at a slumber party, even if this means that I stay up until 1 or 2 or 3 am, and then get violently ill the next day from sleep-deprivation. (Although last time I did this, my sweet hubby let me sleep in and brought me donuts and a latte. He’s such a cute little enabler.)

 

3)I am afraid of parallel parking. This is actually a rational fear because I am terrible at parking.

 

4)I am afraid of being bored. Truly afraid. The idea of being bored feels to me like a giant elephant is sitting on my chest and squeezing the air out of me. So I don’t stay in one place very long, which leaves for lots of great “ideas” and quite a few unfinished projects. But now when I’m bored, I just think of things I could be blogging about.

 

5)I am afraid of hair. Not the hair on my head or yours, but the loose hairs that gather up in corners with the dustbunnies or in the shower drain. Touching those random globs of hair makes me gag and I generally refuse to do it. Lucky for me, I don’t have much hair and don’t shed all that much, cause if I did, I might just shave my head.

 

What are you afraid of?